Letting Go Of Worry from Faith Barista

When I read the entry below from Faith Barista, I thought, wow!  There is someone in this world that thinks like I do.  You know what, I know there are probably thousands.  I wish so much that we were able to truly be real with one another and not hide behind what we want people to think about us, but be sure that despite what they might think at that moment, they still love and accept us. 

I don't think there is anyone on this earth that we can be confident feels that way.  But, I know Jesus does.  I know in my head, but my heart doesn't always listen.  I wish it would.  I wish the head knowledge I have would move down to my heart and then it would become a consistent action in my life. 

But, I am afraid.  And, I just don't know if I could articulate why.

We can trust God. Then, why do we still worry?


Worry feels so intuitive that the times I don’t do it, I worry that I’m being careless. That’s why I love vacations so much. It’s like getting a permission slip to stop worrying. Sometimes I try to cure myself of worry by psyching myself out. I tell myself to pretend I’m on vacation.

It doesn’t work.

Another tactic I’ve used to stop worrying is to combine pure determination with logic or even reciting memory verses.

I can do it! I tell myself. But, white-knuckling gets tiring. Worse yet, I end up with an added dose of guilt for not standing up to worry.

I was praying faithfully about the things that bothered me, but I couldn’t shake my worries.

Am I Really Important To God?


So, what’s keeping me from letting go?

“Do not worry…Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?” ~ Jesus in Matthew 6:26

I know the Sunday School answer. But, the answer my heart gives is faint. I’m not entirely convinced that I’m enough.

It even feels a bit egotistical to ask whether I’m really all that important to God. After all, hasn’t the key always been to focus on God and not myself?

But, here Jesus is, telling us not to worry for the simple reason that God thinks we’re important.

It sounds so good that my skeptical heart feels it’s too good to be true. I get the same feeling every time I see those emails clog up my spam box, telling me I can get a free iPad for just taking a survey.

Carrying My Rocks


I realize the reason I can’t shake my worries even though I pray is this: Every time I lift up my concerns and problems to God in prayer, I quietly slip those rocks of burdens back into my bag and carry them out with me at Amen.

I know God means well, but I just would feel better if I had them back. Because, after all, who knows if God is really that happy with me?

Better take care of me.

Voila. That is how worry litters my path.

What God Wants


There is a happy ending to this story because Jesus really is very kind. He does love me so very much that He spoke to me during a song we sang one Sunday Service.

God is bigger than my mountain, bigger than my valley, bigger than my problem, bigger than my pain, Our God, God is faithful. ~ Lyrics to “God is Faithful” by Norman Hutchins

Maybe if I let go of trying to manage my life, I would see God leading me through it.

God is faithful, not only to do what He intends to do.

God is faithful to love me. He pursues me because He actually wants me to trust Him.

You are very important to me, Bonnie. Give me a chance to prove my love to you.

Let go of your worries and take my hand.

What’s Following You


If you look behind you and find worry and preoccupation dogging you — as they have me — turn with me to take a chance with Jesus.

Let the worst fears see the light of day. Let the plate you’ve been juggling fall. See how God can take matters into His hands. See how God can take you in His hands.

We learn day by day, to see surely goodness and mercy following us — as we bleep like sheep and let our problems play out in our Shepherd’s hands.

Maybe we’d end up discovering how much we’re really worth.

I’m sure of it.

God is faithful.

Don't think anyway is reading this, so I wanted to repost so I will remember.

Nothing More and Nothing Less


16 Sep 2010

Rachel Olsen

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought." Matthew 5:5 (MSG)

Lord, how can I become content with just who I am, nothing more and nothing less?

I'm certainly prone to want to be more, or less, than I am. To be smarter, prettier, funnier, fitter. To be more productive, perky and high energy. And then also to be lower key, calmer, more level-headed and focused.

I want to have better self-awareness, and yet I want to be less concerned about what others think of me.

I want to be a better cook, to sing beautifully and to keep th e house neat without so much perceived effort. And did I mention fuller, thicker hair would be nice too? I want to be a better writer – one that's both highly creative and meticulously organized. And I want fewer propensities to run late, slack off or procrastinate.

Yes, I want to be both more and less of me.

Jesus shushes my endless listing of the things I want to change about myself – to improve about myself so I can have what I'm sure would be a better life. He asks me instead to humbly make peace with it all. To lay down my notions of a better woman and a better life by letting Him be the judge of that. To simply take what I'm given and offer it back to Him, in service and surrender. Willingly assuming that I am enough – I have what it takes to live a great life. One that pleases God, others and self.

Today's key verse is among several in the Bible that fuels a core convi ction I hold: When I stop striving to create a life for myself, I find the life God creates for me. This, my friend, is a powerful truth, a divine secret. His life for me begins precisely where mine ends. My life ends in my sin and striving and begins again in God's grace and power. His empowering indwelling affords me everything I truly need and nothing I truly don't.

Do you too long to be content with just who you are in Christ – nothing more and nothing less? Jesus addresses us both in Matthew 23:11-12, ""Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty." (MSG)

Amazingly, God's grace humbles a woman without degrading her, and His favor lifts her up without inflating her. The life she finds in Him makes her the proud owner of everything money can't buy – a life of contentment.

Dear Lord, help me to quiet my critical, striving spirit today and gratefully accept who I am and where I'm at in this moment. For You are here, ready to invisibly empower my life to count for plenty right where I am. Help me also to seek and hold your definition of "plenty" – nothing more and nothing less. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Thoughts from my commute

I started reading James this morning.  I just reread it in a different version because what I thought it was saying, I guess it isn't.  Not sure.  But while I was driving to work this morning, I thought, if I think that I am unworthy to receive God's blessings, am I actually throwing in his face the sacrifices he did for me?  I mean, he obviously thought I was worth it.  So, if I walk around all of the time saying how I am not worth his time and blessings, am I rebelling in some way?

Am I supposed to remember his sacrifice and then realize my righteousness through that? 

Encourage with (in)Courage

I received a free 10 pack of encouragement cards from (in)Courage and Dayspring.  They are visually beautiful.  But, the most stunning thing was that they speak to the heart of so many things you would want to say to someone that you would hope to encourage or let them know that you are there for them. 

I have sent two cards. 

One to a wonderful lady at my church who has become a mentor to me.  She has grown daughters my age, but when I speak to her or serve on a committee with her, she inspires me in so many ways.  She encourages me to spend more time with Jesus and to focus on my relationship with him.  But, she also encourages me to be quiet in my manner and to think before I speak.  Boy, do I need that!

I sent another to a lady that was in two of my book groups.  I know that she doesn't feel particularly worthy of much.  But she is such a strong woman.  She is always so encouraging of others and she is so supportive.  I don't get to spend much time with her.  But, I wanted her to know how special she is to me.

Thank you for reminding me to stop and look around.  God puts wonderful people in your life and often I overlook them.  These cards helped me to stop and take time to remember.

This is where I am

As I read Dawn's post this morning, it came to me, that is where I am.  No, I am not nearly as busy as she is, so I can't use that as an excuse, but I am definitely at the 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming' phase.

I believed that once all of the traveling was complete, I would feel like a person again.  But then, this past weekend was the worst of my life.  Really.  So far.  As I sat on the bathroom floor bawling, trying to figure out how to fix something that was so completely and awfully broken, my mind did flash to the alternative - no feeling at all.  I know this is completely wrong, selfish, everything, but the truth is, I went there.  I haven't visited that place for quite some time.  It was homey feeling, just some place I couldn't believe I found myself.

I am still recovering from that.  Recovering from the trauma and also from visiting a place I thought I had left behind.  I guess with all of that going on and with my father-in-law going in for heart surgery it was no surprise that I found myself in bed yesterday with a horrible migraine.  One that came, left, came back and finally left for a while. 

I don't know.  What do you do to revive yourself?  What do you do to remind yourself of your purpose?  How do you apologize to God and then allow yourself to be forgiven?  I am still floundering, I don't have the answers.

This is where I am

Did you know?

September 12th is National Encouragement Day.  I just find that to be fantastic.  I think we often overlook how important it is to encourage others.  And, it doesn't have to be a huge thing.  A smile, a hug, a sentence written on a card and dropped in the mail (my personal favorite), or even a comment on someone's Facebook wall.  That little bit of encouragement means so much to someone who is having a bad day, hurting or just feeling overlooked. 

I am absolutely not a star at this.  I often intend to do it and then it just slips my mind later.  But, I resolve today to be better at it.  I want to lift others up!  I want them to know they are important.  I will first start at home - but watch out world, here I come!