feeling and knowing

“And we know (we know it even if we don’t feel it) that in all things (even the ones we can’t even fathom being used for good) God works for the good. (He works for the good. Our job is to walk with Him day by day. His job is to work the good.)" - Lysa Terkeurst

Feeling and knowing are difficult for me to grasp.  I am so trained to go by what I feel, that I often set aside what I know.  Is this how most people are or is it symptomatic of having major depressive disorder. 

One thing I know for sure, I can not fall back on something that I don't know.  I don't take time to put the truth in me, so I should not be surprised when I fall or when I don't know about all of the truths God has spoken about me.  That would be like me performing surgery without having gone to school.  I need the knowledge.

I often find my mind divided.  I know what I want to do, but I am not single minded in my pursuits, which means that I end up running in circles.  I really hate this feeling.  And I hate the feeling of craziness, thinking I will get different results when I am doing the same thing over and over.

Indianapolis is a lonely place

My first outing as the 'new' manager of conferences has not been without its problems.  It appears that those who are of a higher grade don't have to play by the rules.  It is quite infuriating for someone like me.  I have had a branch manager behave in ways that he would never allow others to behave, and what am I to do about it? I will be reporting it to my superiors, but it is still unfair to those of use doing all that is required of us.  I am truly disappointed. 

Really miss the family.  I am so tired from working all weekend and then flying out here.  I have returned to the hotel every evening, too tired to fight the crowds in the city.

But I am loving room service, too bad I can't have it at home :-)